What does it mean when someone says empathy is "self-reflexive"?

In his book "turtles all the way down" John Grinder did talk about the definition of self and how does it differ from one individual to another.

one of the interesting ways to define your self is by defining the "self" by others.

for example some people might think they are lingual  smart people who are able to have a sense of humor in every situation.

so most probably those people define themselves as (smart - funny - social). however in truth some of their comments could be viewed as (aggressive - defensive - ego centered   or hurtful ).

so in the previous case for example the way that one define himself is totally different or in opposite  of how his close circle define him.

in the case of empathy and compassion the perception of self and the way the self is perceived  by others should be in alignment if not identical.

I highly recommend reading the below book as a deeper look into compassion and empathy

Amazon.com: How to Be Compassionate: A Handbook for Creating Inner Peace and a Happier World (9781451623918): His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Ph.D. Jeffrey Hopkins Ph.D.: Books

Written by :Fouad Ahmed
E-mail: Fouad_khafaga@hotmail.co.uk
Twitter: @fouad_khafaga